My inconsequential list of weird but true fact compilation:

To never have change and substitute it with Pan Pasand.

Almost every shopkeeper in Jorhat thinks Pan Pasand (a ghastly boiled sweet which I love, but that’s not the point) or the rare Dairy Milk Eclaire toffee (a posher substitute found in posher shops) is legal tender. And I suppose their bank accounts resemble Willy Wonka’s holiday home. You cannot question them or make them feel like it’s something completely stupid. They just grin at you happily and shrug their shoulder at the insane pink trouser clad girl (maybe I should have re-thunked these pants) when she says “I’ll pay you in sweets next time, shall I?”

To be too polite for a job.

My friend recently went for an interview for which she was rejected on account of her being too well mannered. Being rude was an unwritten criterion and my sweet friend had not a chance in the world to overcome this peculiar hurdle. As if being a woman and trying to get a good job isn’t hard enough already.*eye roll* I wonder if this should now be a section in the application process.

To be always hungry.

My niece, 5 year old golden Lab-Retriever, Safera, a.k.a Comrade SapSup, Paploo, Saffy, Gidil-Bidil, Agent Sophie Singh and so on and so forth, is always hungry. If you feed her two huge meals simultaneously she would eat it happily and still beg for scraps at the dining table 5 minutes later.  There have been many afternoons when there has been miscommunication, or, lack thereof between the family members and she has received her afternoon quota of 4 biscuits (other than half of whatever you’re having with tea) many times over, and of course, every time she rushes to partake of her snack from a different unsuspecting person as though she were wasting away in hunger and one would be filled with righteous anger at the others for having not given her something to eat, the poor, not-so-lil, overweight puppeeee with melty brown eyes. Aww…NOT.  Such is her appetite.

To crave for something sweet after an Indian meal.

It must be something to do with having a varied,  well-balanced Indian menu with many types of tastes from meats and vegetables, that any Indian meal just seems incomplete without something sweet to nibble on afterwards and fighting this urge is soul-defeating. My soul is wandering listlessly in the afterlife, so I should know. Okay fine,  so I had a few pedas and besan laddoos over the last few weeks. You gotta be Indian to know this pull.  Likewise is the need for afternoon tea. At 4 p.m. with mind boggling accuracy your brain signals you to imbibe some tea and till you have it,  all work stands still as brain & muscle activity ceases to a minimum of barely being able to lift a cup to your lips…and the Brittania Marie lite, of course.


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