So long, And Thanks For All The Oxygen

Ashish Shakya

So it’s almost time for Diwali. I know this because the photo-tagging frenzy on Facebook has begun, with me being in tagged in a million pictures of things that symbolise Diwali, such as diyas, crackers, light-bulbs, burn victims, the superiority of the Aryan race and so on.

As you can tell, I’m totally looking forward to this festival of lights, prosperity and violently choking to death on suspended particulate matter the size of cockroaches. Every time I breathe during Diwali, it feels like my lungs are being french-kissed by a dementor. This, of course, is a throwback to ancient times when Lord Ram returned victorious from Lanka and was welcomed with a traditional feast of anti-histamines.

And smog is a really bad idea if you want the goddess of wealth to visit your home. It must really mess with navigation. I can just imagine her circling over Mumbai for hours…

View original post 510 more words

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s